They Say I'm Insane
by EE's Skysong
Summary: I can't think of a good summary, so I'll just quote it. Cheshire, what are you? Whatever you want me to be. Cheshire CatAlice pairing. Read and Review, please.


Disclaimer: American McGee's Alice belongs to.. American McGee, I suppose. -shrugs-

(An: I have no idea where I got the idea for this. Strangely enough, I thought of it in church. Why do I have the Cheshire Cat lusting after Alice (and vice-versa)? I have no idea. It's strange, really. I just felt like writing an Alice fanfic, since the game is so awesome. This is set after the end of the game. I haven't quite finished it yet, though I'm close.. ish. I'm assuming she gets out of the asylum.. -assuming.- Uh, one thing: It's been so long since I started the game (I got stuck and then lost the disc), that I can't remember if they mentioned her age. I believe it was fourteen though, and for all points and purpouses, that's how old she is now.)

They say I'm insane.

Since I live in the mind of an insane girl (supposedly, anyway), I suppose it makes sense. I wouldn't know.

At the very least, I'm mad.

How do I know this? Very simple.

I, the curiosity known as the Cheshire Cat, am in love.

I sound like a fool. This I know, but then, I am mad. I don't really care.

I watch her, but don't speak unless she summons me.

In Wonderland, she was poetry in motion, death without regret, life with no boundaries. Here, she is still that, but muted by the restraints of the ordinary world.

Oh my dear, only I understand the bloodlust, the feelings fulfilled by the return to the place known as Wonderland.

She is strong, my Alice. She was beautiful when she fought. That beauty remains, muted as well, but shining through the life she lives.

One day, she summoned me, a question in her eyes, on her lips. "Cheshire, I'm not normal, am I?" she asked, frowning.

"Of course not, my dear," I replied, the usual sneer hiding the feeling behind those words. "Perish the thought."

"No, no, I know that," she said, her green eyes boring holes into mine. "But I'm not _normal_, like I was, am I?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, pacing back and forth. I am a restless creature by nature, after all. But we will return to that.

"They let me out," she responded. "They said I was sane. So why is it that I can still see you, if Wonderland was only in my mind?"

I shrugged, my bony shoulders rolling. "That I cannot tell you."

"Why?" she asked, the last of her innocence showing in that question.

"Because, my dear, I only know what you know, of course," I said calmly.

"Oh," she replied and went silent.

I returned to the shadows where I lurk, always. I watch and will watch her forever.

That is part of the cause for my confusion. I flit from place to place, quietly, disappearing and reappearing far from where I was, as ethreal as the wind. Which is why it puzzles me that I return to her, never leaving for long.

Not that it bothers me. Alice is my life, I suppose. She gave me life, and now she is mine. That might be ironic.

She will never return my ardor. This I know with a certainty so strong it scares me. To her I am a creation. Just a creation, nothing more.

Today she summoned me. As always, I am happy to talk to her, though I don't show it, ever. That is not who I am.

"Cheshire, what are you?" she asks, her voice soft.

"I am whatever you wish me to be," I reply, calmly, my voice just as soft.

She looks over at me, her green eyes wide. "Oh Cheshire.." she whispers. She reaches out a hand to stroke my bony skin and I arch under her fingers. "If only that were true.." she says, so soft that even I, with my cat ears, can barely hear her.

(And now we switch to Alice's pov.)

They say I'm insane.

I don't know if it's true. At one time, I believe it was. And it seems that now I'm sane enough for the world outside the asylum.

But if I'm sane, why is it that I can still see the Cheshire Cat? ..Not that I'm complaining.

I have no real friends. The world outside my house is cold and unwelcome. I have aquantinces, certainly, but other then my dear Cheshire I have no one. The only people who interact with me are the doctors and my guardian.

Cheshire has always been there for me. In Wonderland he helped explain things to me.. if he didn't utterly confuse me first.

He still speaks in riddles, just not as much. There's just not much to drop subtle hints about in my mundane life.

I miss Wonderland a little, yes, if only because it offers me a respite from the routine of my life.

But without the rabbit and the Hatter, Cheshire would really be the only difference, that and the curious flora of course.

I don't understand why I can still summon him, and neither does he.

Why is he my friend?

He talks with me. He explains things to me. He _understands_ me, most of all. He knows when I can put up with his sarcastic remarks and when I just need a cat to stroke to while away the hours. Despite his anorexic appearance, he really is quite comforting to pet. He is much too thin though.

I suppose I must be insane though.

Why?

I may be in love with a cat. I can dimly remember a time when he was just a cat.. back in the time when he had fur and the Hatter was just Mad, not a killer. But now he is "my dear Cheshire."

He is exactly the kind of friend I've always wanted, always _needed_, and that means a lot to me.

I don't know why I love him, any more then I know why I can still see him after all these years.

I summon him. This is simpler then it sounds. All I must do is think of him. (What a boon it is that he cannot hear my thoughts.)

He appears, first the grin, then the eyes, then the rest of the cat. He always grins, no matter what. It is a curious kind of grin, cruel and kind, all at the same time.

"Cheshire, what are you?" I ask, no real reason except to hear the purr of his soft voice.

"I am whatever you wish me to be," he replies, his words confusing, as always.

"Oh Cheshire," I say, stretching out a hand to stroke him. He arches up beneath my fingers. "If only that were true.."

He turns his head, fixing his gold eyes on my own. "Why wouldn't it be?"

I don't answer. He moves closer to me, so that he is standing on my legs. "I am your creation Alice... why can't I be what you desire?"

I blink. "Yes.." I whisper. "Why can't you be?"

I close my eyes and bury my fingers in the spaces between the vertebrae in his spine. "Why can't you be?" I repeat.

He jumps off my lap and there is a whisper of cloth. I keep my eyes shut, wondering why. A hand reaches out and grabs my chin. "Alice," says the Cheshire Cat's voice. I feel breath on my face. I open my eyes.

Standing before me is not the Cat, but a young man. He is thin, painfully so. A gold hoop dangles from his left ear. And his eyes are gold. He also happens to be clad only in my sheet, which his other hand is holding up.

I gasp and he smirks, the Cheshire Cat grin I know so well. "I told you," he says softly.

(And back to the Cat's POV.)

"Why can't you be?" she asks again. I feel strange and move to the floor.

Thankfully when I become human her eyes are still shut. I do have _some_ sense of tact, you know. I steal her sheet, which is lying at the end of her bed. I move my face close to hers and grip her chin. "Alice," I say.

She opens her lovely emerald eyes and gasps. I smirk, the grin feeling the same even in a different face. "I told you so," I say.

A small smile spreads across her face. "Cheshire," she whispers.

"Shhh, Kitten," I say, putting a finger to her lips. "Sometimes words are not necessary." Truer words never spoken, I think, as I lean forward and my lips meet hers.

(Wow. Quite different then I intended it to be. Ok, this is my first AMA fic, so be kind and review! If I get a couple positive reviews, I might make a sequel, when I get the time.)


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